Guilty!

As I sit here in my bed today, I deal with issues of guilt.  EXTREME guilt.

As a mom, I'm told that I need to be a stay @ home mom, a working mom, a full time mom, have a career, not have a career, spoil my children, don't spoil my children, toughen them up, soften them up, give them vaccines, don't give them vaccines, spend every single waking moment with them, or take "me" time, and SO many other options.

Here's the deal...do what works for your family.  There isn't one correct answer.  Don't let anyones  idea of perfect become YOUR vision or your goal.

Most of you don't know the health issues that I've battled over the years because no one wants to hear about others problems...we all have our own.  Ha!  I'm learning, slowly, b/c hey, I'm a little stubborn.  ;-)

In my past, I've dealt with PCOS, endometriosis, infertility, fibromyalgia, and food allergies.  It seems so weird to lay it all out there.  I've always considered myself healthy and happy.  Truly, I am.  God helps me to continually see the bright side in everything.  No matter what I'm going through, good or bad, someone else probably wishes they were going through that, instead of whatever they're dealing with.  Someone is always worse off and someone is always better off.  That's why we can't get into the trap of comparing ourselves to others...they aren't us!!!  Remember that!  YOU have a path to live and it's not the same as anyone other path!

Okay, back to the guilt.  My family is the best.  They are so helpful and supportive.  But today, I lay here in my bed, sick.  Not from something you can catch, but something that my body can't fight on its own.  Some days, I must just realize that laying in bed, doing nothing, is what my body needs to heal.  So as badly as I want to go to my oldest sons basketball games out of town, I have to pull back, listen to my body and realize that I won't be able to do anything for my family, if I go today.  Not only will I be miserable, but I'm quite sure my wonderful family will be miserable too if I go.  I need today to be about my son and his talent, not him remembering me sick.  So, as much as it kills me, I'm missing out.

I read articles online talking about how important it is for you to be at every single event that your child participates in.  I'm not so sure I buy into that completely.  I can't be a good mom if I push myself to the point of illness.  If I push myself while I'm sick, to go to every single event, there's nothing left of me to give to my kids.  Yes, it's important for our kids to see our faces in the stands, but do they need to see every single face at every single game?  As much as I'd like to be there, we are outnumbered with three kids.  We physically can't be everywhere, all the time.  My kids have someone, a parent or grandparent, at each game 99% of the time.  I make sure that my kids know how proud I am of them, daily.  I tell them daily how much I love them.  I give them hugs and kisses.  I joke around with them.  We text back and forth.  I provide them with food, clothing, multiple sports, everything they need and most of the things they want.  They are smart, funny, outgoing, athletic, have goals and dreams, and two of our children have started their own businesses.  So, I'm thinking that they are adjusting well.  ;-)

I just feel that there is an extreme amount of pressure, everywhere that we look.  We are constantly bombarded with images, news stories, articles, links, and more to tell us that we aren't good enough.  Don't let someone else define you.  You are made to stand out.  You are made to be you.  You must do what works for your life, your future, your family.  So, while it's nice to get inspiration from others, don't let them define you.  <3

Holiday Excitement

The last few years have been hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit.  I run around buying presents for the those I love.  I stress out, praying that they love the gift that I purchased for them.  I doubt myself hundreds of times and buy more.  I try to decorate the house and have every square inch decorated.  I love to cook and bake and set such high expectations for myself that I have NO option, other than to fail.  No matter how hard I try, I never obtain my all of my expectations.  The last few years, I was over so much stress and pressure.  I had young children at home, ran our business full time, was a full time student, (again) to obtain another degree and got a teaching degree.  No wonder I felt overwhelmed!

This year, I'm slowing down.  I'm enjoying my children, because it's true, they grow SO fast.  I'm learning to listen to my body and slow down.  I'm trying to savor every single moment.  I'm sure God never intended for me, or anyone else, to be so stressed.  It's simply not what He has called us to do.  So, take a few moments to relax, slow down, and be purposeful.  It's my new goal...to have purpose in everything.

Welcome back!

Well, it’s been over two years since I stopped blogging. To be honest, life happened. I was a full-time wife, mom, student, (again), and a business owner. Now, I’m done with school, for the second time, but I’m also a full-time teacher. I am teaching fifth-grade and I LOVE it! My handsome farmer and I are still running our farm. We’re diversifying our product lines and are excited to see what the future holds for our family! I’m going to try to be much better about blogging! Stay tuned!